Forgiveness is a promise...

How do you ever forgive someone who hurt you so incredibly, the person who ripped the world out from underneath your feet and struck you over the back of the head with it, more than that how do you forgive them when they not only hurt you but also the ones closest to you- your family?
When you are dealing with your own hurt and seeing it also in the faces of the ones you love how do you forgive the one who caused it?
We are supposed to forgive, but how and why?
Why because until you decide to forgive someone the pain and the hurt you feel will stay with you, it will eat you up and ultimatley cause bitterness and anger that will affect not only your own life but also the life of others.
I always thought that in order to forgive someone they needed to first say sorry, but what if they don't say sorry, what if you hear nothing even remotely close or similar to an apology, does that mean you are off the hook? does that mean that forgiveness is not necessary.
I honestly believed that the answer to these questions was "yes" for me it was as simple as no apology, no forgiveness! It's never that simple.
The apology didn't come and the pain didn't cease, I had to come to a decision where I could forgive so that I could get on with healing. Waiting around for an apology that may never come feeds the pain and prevents the healing process from beginning.
So In my own time when I was ready I forgave, and from that point things started to get brighter, and while i was still hurt- am still hurt, I can deal with that pain more easily. How did I get to that point? with this simple quote... "forgiveness is a promise, not a feeling!" A promise to myself, a promise to God, and a promise to move on with living.

image via: signorafranca.com, "Stay Ali: Forgive me Fraulein LP"